And Satan Said....Let There Be Emotion (Off Camera)

It had been a long flight and honestly all things considering he was happy to finally be home. He had packed light only bringing a duffel bag which he took off and dropped on the floor as he entered his apartment. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the balcony door open with a tiny female sitting quietly looking out into the distance. He slowly walked up and leaned against the door frame.

"How long you been waiting?"

Setting her tea cup down, Munin turned her head ever so slightly.

Munin: Not long really...How was your flight?

The tension in the air was palpable, neither felt comfortable in each others presence at the moment. He let out a sigh as his right hand drug through his hair.

"Considering I got the flu on the second day I would say shitty. But I at least got to see a few things before heading back. How were things here?"

Munin let out a sigh of her own as she thought back over the last show. A small amused smile played at the corner of her mouth.

Munin: Things were just as eventful as you can imagine.

He couldn't help but laugh as he stepped out onto the balcony and took a seat next to Munin. It was almost like a wall was built between them as he looked at her, still just as beautiful as ever. He rested his left hand on her knee and rubbed at it softly.

"I want to thank you for not firing me and giving me the chance to work out my problems. I really think I might be on the other side of this for good."

She looked at him slightly startled by his words. Wind tugged tendrils of her long black hair from her loose bun, and they were quickly brushed away with the unconscious swipe of her hand.

Munin: Have we grown so far apart that you think I would fire you instead of help you?

Her words were far from accusing. In fact they were soft as the brush of the wind against his skin. Not actually a whisper and yet quietly forlorn. He turned to look back at her.

"I don't know anymore Nin. Sometimes I ask myself if too much time has passed or too much damage done for us to be close. I know you want what's best for me but after what I did putting your company at risk I expected the worse."

He cleared his throat a bit before looking away. He didn't want to be this far from her. He wanted to take her in his arms but he feared that was the old Alex. That in the end she would have no room for the new one. His words speared through the chink in her armour, slamming into her heart like a jack hammer. For the first time in a very long time the perfect mask she wore began to crack, and from those cracks seeped a weariness... A sadness that hadn't been evident before.

Munin: I love you...

If her voice cracked slightly or trembled ever so slightly Munin was beyond acknowledging it. Instead she pushed all of her concentration into picking her tea back up with a steady hand.
Clouds passed swiftly over head allowing the sun to shine down on the balcony. The warm rays caressing what skin was not covered by her white sundress. The warmth almost made her want to laugh. How could she feel so much warmth on her skin, when all she seemed to feel lately was cold inside.

"Why didn't you visit me Nin? Or at least call and check on me while I was in rehab. TJ, Ronnie, Nathan even Alexandra visited but the one person I wanted to see never even called."

He turned to look at her, tears in his eyes.

"I love you so much but..."

He fought back tears and looked away at the clouds in the distance.

Munin: Would seeing me or hearing my voice really have helped. You were trying to fight with your demons...you didn't need one of them getting in the way.

She looked away her shoulders drooping slightly.

Munin: Besides I didn't know what to say...or how to feel.

"I just wanted to know you cared still Nin."

He looked back at her and took her small hand in his.

"That doctor told me that you were the reason I drink. That you're the reason I lose control and you know what? He's partly right. He's right because I don't know who or what I'd be if I didn't have you and it scares the shit out of me. Munin I know we can't have anything until I forgive myself for what happened a year ago and last week I finally did. I finally let it go and I slept like a baby afterwards."

He paused for a moment as his voice cracked a bit.

"I'm not perfect Munin. Hell I'm about as imperfect as they come. I also know I'm about as fickle as they come but one thing I know without a doubt is that I love you with all of my heart and want to marry you. But if that's not what you want I need to know. I need you to tell me that it's too late. I'll accept it and move on no questions asked, no fights had."

At this point tears began to silently pool in her large exotic eyes, and spill forth to gently trail down her cheeks. The cracks widened in the mask, the delicate handle of the tea cup followed suit. Before it could break entirely Munin set it down harshly. Hot liquid splashing unnoticed onto her hand.

Munin: Do you think I wouldn't tell you if I knew? Do you think-

At this point tears began to silently pool in her large exotic eyes, and spill forth to gently trail down her cheeks.

Munin: That I don't know how much I have damaged you? How I continue to damage you because I don't know what the fuck I'm doing emotionally?

Finally the mask broke, and what poured forth was a seething mass of rage and pain. The eyes she turned to him were emblazoned with it. This was Munin in all her unholy glory. Wielding a force that seemed much to big for her small body.

Munin: I am your bloody demon Alex, and they were all fucking right. Leon...all of them...they knew I would twist you from the inside out...They were right.

He took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"Damaged me? You didn't put those bottled in my hand I did. You didn't force me to take shot after shot I did. Me and me alone. I damaged myself because I was too fucking weak to handle my own shit. You didn't do anything Nin so don't shoulder any responsibility because it all falls on me and only me."

He took a deep breath and slowly let it out.

"Fuck Leon and all the rest. They don't live our life we do. We make our own choices we dig our own graves. That's just how it is."

Munin: Oh? And how about when you were in a happy stable relationship when I returned to GZW? Would you be where you are now if I hadn't come into your life? Do you have any idea the game I was playing when we first met?

Her voice quipped and she looked away, feeling the unfamiliar emotion of shame wash over her.

Munin: I wanted to see if you could go to the dark side and still come out a hero. I wanted to dissect you like a science project and see what you were really made of. I may have stopped once I knew you, and that may not have been all there was to it...but it was a factor.

She shivered as if freezing despite the sun's warmth.

Munin: Your life has never been the same since I stepped into it...I am your demon Alex.

"You're right Nin you're absolutely right you are my demon. You've been my demon since day one! Since we met in the airport or shared a booth at the autograph meet and greet you've been my demon."

His eyes were locked on hers, passion behind every word he spoke.

"But you've also been my angel, my healer, my lover and more importantly my friend. This made have been a game at first but it isn't anymore. We both have our crosses to bare and I gladly bare mine but you are so much more than just my demon. You're my everything."

She looked back at him slowly, still raw with emotion.

Munin: But I am broken...there is something wrong with me Alex. I don't know what to do...Why do you love me? How do you love me?

Her eyes pleaded with him to tell her the truth, and her hands griped the armrest of her chair as if bracing herself.

Munin: Can you honestly tell me that the love for me is the same as it was before. Are you in love with me or do you love me?

"Munin we're both broken. Without one another we're that puzzle that's almost complete but it's missing a piece. I'm your piece and you're mine."

He swallowed sharply.

"How can I love you? You make it easy for me to. Loving you is all I've wanted to do. And yes, I can honestly say my love for you is the same. I'm in love with you Munin. Its taking everything in me to not hold you in my arms and telling you everything will be okay."

She seemed to tilt her head from side to side like a cat puzzling something out.

Munin: Emotions are like the pieces of a broken mirror to me lately...I want to understand but the more I try to put the pieces together the more I cut myself...and it terrifies me.

"Then let me help you put it back together. And you help me piece together my puzzle."

Slowly the lines of strain vanished from her face. The silence that stretched between them while anxious was oddly more comfortable. One could almost see the wheels turning in her brain, while she nibbled nervously on her full red stained bottom lip.

Munin: What if I hurt you...or the dreams start again? What if we put the puzzle together and we don't fit?

"I'm not fragile love. I won't break or crumble if played with roughly. Our pieces fit for several years with no problem. It wasn't until we stopped talking and being with one another that those pieces rotated and fell out. We work together, we stay together love."

He smiled at her as he moved a stray hair out of her face with his fingers, tucking it behind her ear. Her muscles and posture began to relax at the touch, and his words.

Munin: I can be a cold, callous, distant, bitch...You know that.

"And I can be a mean, asshole of a drunk."

His smile was more genuine. Her lush red lips actually twitched in amusement at that.

Munin: If you get drunk like that again I will break bones.

Despite how softly and sweetly the words were spoken, Alex had no doubt that they were true.

"I'm done drinking love. I made sure anything even close to alcohol was thrown out before I went into rehab. That monkeys off my back."

Slowly Munin nodded her head, her perfect mask slowly sliding into place once more, leaving only a small smile in its wake.

Munin: OK then I want to try, really try to fit back into each other's lives again.

"I'm glad love. I'd like that to."

He took both her hands in his, they fit perfectly just like they always had. His thumbs rubbed on the backs of them as he looked deep into her eyes.

"I love you Nin. I always have and I always will."

Munin: I love you too.

He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Maybe we can try dinner at that place you like downtown. You know the one with thats impossible to get reservations at. Turns out the owner was in my AA meetings and told me to come down."

Shaking her head in disbelief, Munin couldn't hold back her chuckle.

Munin: It's a date...