Post by Lady Munin on Apr 8, 2016 5:29:26 GMT
I don't like to be bothered with pesky details. I hate being asked about the stupid shit that don't even matter. And right about now, this mofo is pulling my damn nerve.
Knux:"I really could care less about all of this bullshit. I gave you the plans for everything and I gave you a deadline. You fuckin' agreed to it and now it's not done. And then you hit me up last week asking for MORE money?! Fuck you man! I knew I shouldn't have trusted one company to clean and ENTIRE FUCKIN' CASTLE!"
This motherfucker keeps looking at me like I'm some stupid ass jackoff! I know how business works. The only thing a big nosed fuck like him understands is how to rip people off! I'm done bro.
Knux:"Now I want you to pack your shit up, take your eight or nine fucked up looking kids and your camel of a wife, and GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY ISLAND!"
Foreigners.... I swear these foreigners are only taught one thing, rip people off and charge a shit ton. Now don't get me wrong man, money ain't no worry to me. I tour the fuckin' globe and am part of the hottest new band to hit the music industry in a good minute. But I don't like being ripped off plain as day. And this motherfucker thinks he can just do that. They run off as I sit here and laugh. Stupid motherfuckers brought like three damn mops and a bag of towels to clean my entire castle.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and search Google. I need to find a new damn cleaning service. I see one that literally blows my fuckin' mind!
"Maria's Topless Cleaning Service - For your viewing pleasure!"
Hot damn that sounds like my kinda' cleaning service! I dial the number and a very sultry sounding chick picks up the phone. Guess it's Maria.
Maria:"Maria's Topless Cleaning Service! How can I help you today?"
Knux:"Well helloooo beautiful! I've got a large medieval style Castle built on an Island. The Castle was just built so it needs to be cleaned from top to bottom from the sawdust and shit. Money isn't a problem. And I'm gonna' need about thirty to fourty of your finest Topless tasties."
Maria:"That will be no problem at all. I'm going to need you to call us back at this number tomorrow at eight am sharp to give us the directions to get there. Is that ok with you sir?"
Knux:"That is perfectly fine with my baby! Hope to see you soon Maria!"
Maria:"We will see you tomorrow! Tah tah!"
I hang up the phone. DAMN she sounded like a babe! And the pictures online showed some fine looking honeys! But I'm not gonna' get too wrapped up in it. And I'll tell you why.
Three years ago I was at a party in Vegas. A bachelor party for one of my former band mates. We went online and found these perfect honeys for the party! Strippers of course. We payed a pretty penny to get them there and a little extra for..... let's just say illegal activity. Well, when that fuckin' doorbell rang and we opened it, twenty of the UGLIEST women I have ever gazed my eyes on walked through. They had warts around their mouths, cold sores, puss filled pimples all over their faces. I distinctively remember one of them was probably about four hundred and ninty pounds! And she was wearing a fuckin' g-string! It literally looked like a oversized walrus was flossing! It was disturbing! So we go from thinking we're about to have the HOTTEST chicks in Vegas, to having the filthiest fuckin' women on Earth.
So you could see why I'm a little pushed off of what they really look like. We actually payed those other girls to leave. It was worth the fuckin' money!
Next Morning........
So, I just called these chicks and I'm waiting here at the Castle fort he limo to get here with Maria's Topless Cleaning Service. Last night wasn't much fun. Since Castle Knux is too filled with sawdust and all the other shit I had to crash in the jet last night. I might have all the money in the world, but one thing I don't have is a fuckin' bed on my jet. You bet your sweet ass I'm getting one installed tomorrow though! The limo pulls up slowly in front of me as the driver gets out quickly to open the door. I got the fastest fuckin' dudes on Earth. My secret is I tip 'em big if they get me where I need to go fast. It's fun watching them run around like chickens with their fuckin' heads cut off! HAHA! Anywho, he opens up the door and I immediately feel my fuckin' jaw hit the floor. Let me just say this, I won't be paying these chicks to leave my Island! Every babe that get's out is hotter than the next. Then FINALLY at the end..... the main event! One that I would gladly pay for fifty times over. Maria steps out of the limo. And let me tell you this, there isn't a better set of sweater puppies in the land! Blonde, blue eyes, killer fuckin' body! I'm telling you the heavens have blessed me today!
Knux:"And you must be Maria! Thanks for comin' to Nirvana!"
Maria smiles. Damn is it a cute one too! She could literally drive dudes crazy!
Maria:"It's beautiful here! And I didn't realize it until seeing you, but you are LUKE KNUX from the Scumbag Society?"
Oh shit....
Knux:"You heard of me?"
She jumps up and down and hugs me tight. Holy shit I think I might just fuckin' melt.
Maria:"Heard of you? I adore you! I have posters of you hanging all over my walls! You're my wallpaper on my computer at home! It is a pleasure being here with you! I'm speechless!"
Well lookie here ladies and gents. We got us a fangirl! So, long story short, skipping the boring stuff, I spend most of the day sipping bourbon with Maria and watching all of these totally topless tasties clean my house. Maria asks me everything she could ever think of. She definitely was a fangirl. I end up signing some stuff for her before the sun starts to go down. The chicks are done cleaning and the house looks fuckin' incredible! These babes know what they're doing! Maria walks around inspecting the house and making sure everything is quality. I start to mess with a few of the topless tasties as she does. Then after about ten or twenty minutes I start to wonder where Maria went. Did she get lost? So, I decide to go check. I'm walking through the halls, past the suits of armor and my memorabilia. And I check every part of the house. Then I come to my mast bedroom. I open the double doors and I see her lounging, and I mean fuckin' lounging on my bed! She is totally fangirling in my fuckin' bed! She looks up and I can see she is embaressed.
Knux:"You've been gone for a while. Wondered if you got lost. Now I see where you wandered off to."
She smiles. I smirk. She is definetly giving me those eyes I know too well in this room.
Maria:"You know, the girls are finally finished and it looks like they did a really good job. I came in here and noticed how soft this bed is. I've never felt a bed this soft. Have you?"
I chuckle. I know the game. Why would she ask me if I ever felt a bed as soft as mine? Of course I have. I know exactly what she wants.
Knux:"Oh it's imported. The finest bedding in the world. The sheets and blankets feel incredibly soft on the naked body."
Her eyebrows raise. The game is on! She slides in between the sheets and blankets and starts to fiddle around. Then, she looks towards me and tosses something. I catch it in my hand and look at it. Leopard printed pink underwear. Classy. I smile as I take my shirt off and toss it on the ground. I then turn away from her and come to the double doors. I smile and then slam them shut.
Sorry, this is where our story ends. Come on now, you think you're gonna' see that kinda' action? That's for me to know and you to figure out really quick!
Fuck y'all! Have a nice day!
END!
Read more: officialpurepro.boards.net/thread/182/mtcs-viewing-pleasure#ixzz45D58rf00
Knux:"I really could care less about all of this bullshit. I gave you the plans for everything and I gave you a deadline. You fuckin' agreed to it and now it's not done. And then you hit me up last week asking for MORE money?! Fuck you man! I knew I shouldn't have trusted one company to clean and ENTIRE FUCKIN' CASTLE!"
This motherfucker keeps looking at me like I'm some stupid ass jackoff! I know how business works. The only thing a big nosed fuck like him understands is how to rip people off! I'm done bro.
Knux:"Now I want you to pack your shit up, take your eight or nine fucked up looking kids and your camel of a wife, and GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY ISLAND!"
Foreigners.... I swear these foreigners are only taught one thing, rip people off and charge a shit ton. Now don't get me wrong man, money ain't no worry to me. I tour the fuckin' globe and am part of the hottest new band to hit the music industry in a good minute. But I don't like being ripped off plain as day. And this motherfucker thinks he can just do that. They run off as I sit here and laugh. Stupid motherfuckers brought like three damn mops and a bag of towels to clean my entire castle.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and search Google. I need to find a new damn cleaning service. I see one that literally blows my fuckin' mind!
"Maria's Topless Cleaning Service - For your viewing pleasure!"
Hot damn that sounds like my kinda' cleaning service! I dial the number and a very sultry sounding chick picks up the phone. Guess it's Maria.
Maria:"Maria's Topless Cleaning Service! How can I help you today?"
Knux:"Well helloooo beautiful! I've got a large medieval style Castle built on an Island. The Castle was just built so it needs to be cleaned from top to bottom from the sawdust and shit. Money isn't a problem. And I'm gonna' need about thirty to fourty of your finest Topless tasties."
Maria:"That will be no problem at all. I'm going to need you to call us back at this number tomorrow at eight am sharp to give us the directions to get there. Is that ok with you sir?"
Knux:"That is perfectly fine with my baby! Hope to see you soon Maria!"
Maria:"We will see you tomorrow! Tah tah!"
I hang up the phone. DAMN she sounded like a babe! And the pictures online showed some fine looking honeys! But I'm not gonna' get too wrapped up in it. And I'll tell you why.
Three years ago I was at a party in Vegas. A bachelor party for one of my former band mates. We went online and found these perfect honeys for the party! Strippers of course. We payed a pretty penny to get them there and a little extra for..... let's just say illegal activity. Well, when that fuckin' doorbell rang and we opened it, twenty of the UGLIEST women I have ever gazed my eyes on walked through. They had warts around their mouths, cold sores, puss filled pimples all over their faces. I distinctively remember one of them was probably about four hundred and ninty pounds! And she was wearing a fuckin' g-string! It literally looked like a oversized walrus was flossing! It was disturbing! So we go from thinking we're about to have the HOTTEST chicks in Vegas, to having the filthiest fuckin' women on Earth.
So you could see why I'm a little pushed off of what they really look like. We actually payed those other girls to leave. It was worth the fuckin' money!
Next Morning........
So, I just called these chicks and I'm waiting here at the Castle fort he limo to get here with Maria's Topless Cleaning Service. Last night wasn't much fun. Since Castle Knux is too filled with sawdust and all the other shit I had to crash in the jet last night. I might have all the money in the world, but one thing I don't have is a fuckin' bed on my jet. You bet your sweet ass I'm getting one installed tomorrow though! The limo pulls up slowly in front of me as the driver gets out quickly to open the door. I got the fastest fuckin' dudes on Earth. My secret is I tip 'em big if they get me where I need to go fast. It's fun watching them run around like chickens with their fuckin' heads cut off! HAHA! Anywho, he opens up the door and I immediately feel my fuckin' jaw hit the floor. Let me just say this, I won't be paying these chicks to leave my Island! Every babe that get's out is hotter than the next. Then FINALLY at the end..... the main event! One that I would gladly pay for fifty times over. Maria steps out of the limo. And let me tell you this, there isn't a better set of sweater puppies in the land! Blonde, blue eyes, killer fuckin' body! I'm telling you the heavens have blessed me today!
Knux:"And you must be Maria! Thanks for comin' to Nirvana!"
Maria smiles. Damn is it a cute one too! She could literally drive dudes crazy!
Maria:"It's beautiful here! And I didn't realize it until seeing you, but you are LUKE KNUX from the Scumbag Society?"
Oh shit....
Knux:"You heard of me?"
She jumps up and down and hugs me tight. Holy shit I think I might just fuckin' melt.
Maria:"Heard of you? I adore you! I have posters of you hanging all over my walls! You're my wallpaper on my computer at home! It is a pleasure being here with you! I'm speechless!"
Well lookie here ladies and gents. We got us a fangirl! So, long story short, skipping the boring stuff, I spend most of the day sipping bourbon with Maria and watching all of these totally topless tasties clean my house. Maria asks me everything she could ever think of. She definitely was a fangirl. I end up signing some stuff for her before the sun starts to go down. The chicks are done cleaning and the house looks fuckin' incredible! These babes know what they're doing! Maria walks around inspecting the house and making sure everything is quality. I start to mess with a few of the topless tasties as she does. Then after about ten or twenty minutes I start to wonder where Maria went. Did she get lost? So, I decide to go check. I'm walking through the halls, past the suits of armor and my memorabilia. And I check every part of the house. Then I come to my mast bedroom. I open the double doors and I see her lounging, and I mean fuckin' lounging on my bed! She is totally fangirling in my fuckin' bed! She looks up and I can see she is embaressed.
Knux:"You've been gone for a while. Wondered if you got lost. Now I see where you wandered off to."
She smiles. I smirk. She is definetly giving me those eyes I know too well in this room.
Maria:"You know, the girls are finally finished and it looks like they did a really good job. I came in here and noticed how soft this bed is. I've never felt a bed this soft. Have you?"
I chuckle. I know the game. Why would she ask me if I ever felt a bed as soft as mine? Of course I have. I know exactly what she wants.
Knux:"Oh it's imported. The finest bedding in the world. The sheets and blankets feel incredibly soft on the naked body."
Her eyebrows raise. The game is on! She slides in between the sheets and blankets and starts to fiddle around. Then, she looks towards me and tosses something. I catch it in my hand and look at it. Leopard printed pink underwear. Classy. I smile as I take my shirt off and toss it on the ground. I then turn away from her and come to the double doors. I smile and then slam them shut.
Sorry, this is where our story ends. Come on now, you think you're gonna' see that kinda' action? That's for me to know and you to figure out really quick!
Fuck y'all! Have a nice day!
END!
Read more: officialpurepro.boards.net/thread/182/mtcs-viewing-pleasure#ixzz45D58rf00