Post by Joshua Samson, ESQ on May 19, 2016 2:19:37 GMT
*Ring Ring*
"Speak"
"Is this Jericho Cross?"
"Yep. Who's this?"
"The Jericho Cross known as Raze?"
"Once upon a time, yes."
"The Jericho Cross known as Raze that was an overrated murderer in GZW2K1?"
"Hello, Joshua."
"Hehee...how the hella you doing, Raze? You wouldn't believe how many damn Jericho Crosses I've had to talk to over the last forty-eight hours!"
"You've been trying to reach me for two days? That's surprising. That you tried at all, I mean. What prompts our little chat?"
"Yeah, two damn days. I swore if this wasn't you I was giving up. As much as we need your help, you're not THAT damn important."
A low chuckle is heard over the line.
"And what is it you need my help with?"
"Well...what's been up, buddy? Still in shape...still got that murderer streak?"
"I always stay in shape. What's going on? Did you piss someone off with a colourful nickname?"
"You know me...I stay pissing someone off. But it seems this time I've gotten an entire backwater swamp indy organization in an uproar."
"This I have to hear. What did you do?"
"Technically it's not my fault. I've just been commissioned to retrieve some items and just so happens that these country folk aren't hip to my city slick ways."
"Retrieve as in take back? What was taken?"
"Some title belts...but I'm not trying to get you to get those back. I have that already taken care of."
"Then what do you need me for? You looking for a meat shield or something?"
"Meat shield sounds so...so...cannon fodder-ish. Besides if I just needed a shield I could get any steroid pumped meathead from the Trouble Trax. I actually need someone with more of a skill set that you are alleged to have honed over the years."
"I see what you're saying. If you're coming to me for that, you must really be in deep shit. You must have really gotten under their skin."
"Let's just say it's an insurance policy. This hick organization is quite lawless and it's roster has some members that don't understand that I am only an Executive Representative that voices what my clients sometimes can't."
"Oh, I know. I've heard most of it from my time on the roster. I'll say this for you, that is impressive! To get a whole company so pissed off... I have to applaud that."
"Well you know I strive to be the best."
"How long would this be for?"
"You asking because you're interested?"
"I am intrigued so far. Your latest shenanigans sounds quite fuckin' entertaining. So how long, and who have you tried so far?"
"The length is yet to be determined but know that your services will be greatly compensated. Money is no object right now. As far as getting an insurance policy I haven't tried anyone else. You were the first choice."
"Hahaha! So you haven't tried Monarch? He's got guys like Jiro on his payroll."
"Well...there is a tad bit of news I've omitted for the job..."
"If I had to guess, I would say the boss doesn't know about your attempts, would that be right? Or is there a new boss?"
"None of the above. You see this Indy organization is actually owned by your ex-lover and her ex-now-current lover seems to have some stroke over there too."
"I see. And they would be the main obstacles?"
"Lady Itty Bitty for sure...right now Man Munin...er...Alex Cross...is on a sabbatical of some sort dealing with his demons. I thought it would be a nice bit of poetic justice..."
"I can stop Munin from attacking you, but I'm not making her a target."
"Oh I'm not worried about Lady Itty Bitty physically attacking me...it's the other overzealous idiots that are deathly loyal to her and the Amusement Park."
"Them, I'm happy to fend off. Swamp folk do make for some crazy fucking fights, especially when there's a bunch of them."
"Good shit! How soon do you think you can clear your schedule to get down to New Orleans?"
"I can be there in a couple of days, tops."
"Alright...I'll have tickets and contract work sent your way first thing."
"Sounds good to me. I'll see you in two days."
"Raze?"
"Yeah?"
"I know we've never been on the same page and I've ALWAYS been hard on you during your run in GZW2K1 but I just want you to know that I've had nothing but respect for you."
"Wow... thanks. For what it's worth, it'd be hard to imagine the announce team without you. Being honest, it's how I'd commentate too."
There is a moment of silence from Samson's end.
"Well...yeah...fuck all that sentimental stuff, Raze the Murderer. See you in a few days."
"See you then, brown noser."
*Click*
"Speak"
"Is this Jericho Cross?"
"Yep. Who's this?"
"The Jericho Cross known as Raze?"
"Once upon a time, yes."
"The Jericho Cross known as Raze that was an overrated murderer in GZW2K1?"
"Hello, Joshua."
"Hehee...how the hella you doing, Raze? You wouldn't believe how many damn Jericho Crosses I've had to talk to over the last forty-eight hours!"
"You've been trying to reach me for two days? That's surprising. That you tried at all, I mean. What prompts our little chat?"
"Yeah, two damn days. I swore if this wasn't you I was giving up. As much as we need your help, you're not THAT damn important."
A low chuckle is heard over the line.
"And what is it you need my help with?"
"Well...what's been up, buddy? Still in shape...still got that murderer streak?"
"I always stay in shape. What's going on? Did you piss someone off with a colourful nickname?"
"You know me...I stay pissing someone off. But it seems this time I've gotten an entire backwater swamp indy organization in an uproar."
"This I have to hear. What did you do?"
"Technically it's not my fault. I've just been commissioned to retrieve some items and just so happens that these country folk aren't hip to my city slick ways."
"Retrieve as in take back? What was taken?"
"Some title belts...but I'm not trying to get you to get those back. I have that already taken care of."
"Then what do you need me for? You looking for a meat shield or something?"
"Meat shield sounds so...so...cannon fodder-ish. Besides if I just needed a shield I could get any steroid pumped meathead from the Trouble Trax. I actually need someone with more of a skill set that you are alleged to have honed over the years."
"I see what you're saying. If you're coming to me for that, you must really be in deep shit. You must have really gotten under their skin."
"Let's just say it's an insurance policy. This hick organization is quite lawless and it's roster has some members that don't understand that I am only an Executive Representative that voices what my clients sometimes can't."
"Oh, I know. I've heard most of it from my time on the roster. I'll say this for you, that is impressive! To get a whole company so pissed off... I have to applaud that."
"Well you know I strive to be the best."
"How long would this be for?"
"You asking because you're interested?"
"I am intrigued so far. Your latest shenanigans sounds quite fuckin' entertaining. So how long, and who have you tried so far?"
"The length is yet to be determined but know that your services will be greatly compensated. Money is no object right now. As far as getting an insurance policy I haven't tried anyone else. You were the first choice."
"Hahaha! So you haven't tried Monarch? He's got guys like Jiro on his payroll."
"Well...there is a tad bit of news I've omitted for the job..."
"If I had to guess, I would say the boss doesn't know about your attempts, would that be right? Or is there a new boss?"
"None of the above. You see this Indy organization is actually owned by your ex-lover and her ex-now-current lover seems to have some stroke over there too."
"I see. And they would be the main obstacles?"
"Lady Itty Bitty for sure...right now Man Munin...er...Alex Cross...is on a sabbatical of some sort dealing with his demons. I thought it would be a nice bit of poetic justice..."
"I can stop Munin from attacking you, but I'm not making her a target."
"Oh I'm not worried about Lady Itty Bitty physically attacking me...it's the other overzealous idiots that are deathly loyal to her and the Amusement Park."
"Them, I'm happy to fend off. Swamp folk do make for some crazy fucking fights, especially when there's a bunch of them."
"Good shit! How soon do you think you can clear your schedule to get down to New Orleans?"
"I can be there in a couple of days, tops."
"Alright...I'll have tickets and contract work sent your way first thing."
"Sounds good to me. I'll see you in two days."
"Raze?"
"Yeah?"
"I know we've never been on the same page and I've ALWAYS been hard on you during your run in GZW2K1 but I just want you to know that I've had nothing but respect for you."
"Wow... thanks. For what it's worth, it'd be hard to imagine the announce team without you. Being honest, it's how I'd commentate too."
There is a moment of silence from Samson's end.
"Well...yeah...fuck all that sentimental stuff, Raze the Murderer. See you in a few days."
"See you then, brown noser."
*Click*
