Post by Deleted on Aug 4, 2016 15:31:05 GMT
Phone Conversation Transcript,
Strick LaBeouf & Tony Chu
8:24am CST
Incoming call from “Assface.”
Strick: Just who I wanted to talk to.
Tony: Oh hey! How’d it go?
Strick: Tell me you knew.
Tony: Knew what?
Strick: Don’t jerk me off.
Tony: Seriously, knew what? I’m wondering how your night of passion went?
Strick: It didn’t fucking go. Period.
Tony: What?!
Strick: You knew, you walked me into that situation, and you’re going to pay for it. I’m done with you and your constant fucking around.
Tony: Wait just a second, Strick. I don’t even know what I’m being accused of?
Strick: Shyla Clemmens. The counselor. She was a goddamn dominatrix all along? What, was this the coup de grâce?
Tony: What?! Oh man. I bet she looked sexy. Did you get some? I mean, no. That’s terrible. I had no idea!
Strick: You knew. You’re dumb, but too damn smart to have not known.
Tony: I’m serious, I didn’t know. I have a friend, who will remain nameless who said this chick, calling herself Mistress Emerson, was the best. Real good at what she did. Gave me her card. She was working Baton Rouge and so I thought ‘what the hell’? You know?
Strick: You knew. Just spit it out. I’ll kill you quick and painless if you just spit it out.
Tony: I’m not lying, Strick. I had no idea she...just a second.
Tony’s muffled laughter is audible for a moment.
Strick: Yuck it up, motherfucker.
Tony: Ok, sorry. I was watching a fat lady on a scooter and it tipped over. I’m a terrible person.
Strick: So?
Tony: Ok, ok. Look. Honest truth? The visit was meant for me. I thought it would be fun and usually when I’m around a really dominating lady, I get those diamond erections. It’s my thing. I mean, I don’t like to be embarrassed, but I like a woman who knows what she wants. Neither here nor there. Thing is, I met Kassandrah and I’m kind of in love right now, so I called the mistress and set it up for you two to meet. I thought it would be good for you to have some of the control taken away. I just want to help you. When are you going to understand that?
Strick: You’re helping me breathe by pushing my head under water. I really liked her, you know that? Now that’s all fucking gone.
Tony: What? You liked her? Your counselor? That...wow. That’s like, Lifetime movie stuff.
Strick: You making light right now, motherfucker?
Tony: No! I mean it’s great. Like a RomCom. I’m excited for you and the naughty counselor. I mean that’s even turning me on right now.
Strick: What the fuck did you just say to me?
Tony: Look, what do you want me to say? I didn’t know it was her. It’s hot that it’s her. You should take a chance and ask her out on a date. I mean, what’s the big deal?
Strick: If only it were that simple, Tony.
Tony: Let it be that simple! Just go with it. Don’t let things get in the way. This is my advice to you as your Agent.
Strick: I fired you.
Tony: You can’t fire me. We have a contract.
Strick: Fuck you.
Tony: Oh come on Strick! Why can’t we just be friends? We were so good together.
Strick: That was never the case.
Tony: God! It was! We were a team, well, we still are, but we can be again! Like high fives and shit.
Strick: You’re living in a fucking dream world.
Tony: Strick, I’m serious. Our contract is binding. I’ll see you at Wicked.
Strick: I’ll be looking for you, motherfucker.
Call ended.
Strick LaBeouf & Tony Chu
8:24am CST
Incoming call from “Assface.”
Strick: Just who I wanted to talk to.
Tony: Oh hey! How’d it go?
Strick: Tell me you knew.
Tony: Knew what?
Strick: Don’t jerk me off.
Tony: Seriously, knew what? I’m wondering how your night of passion went?
Strick: It didn’t fucking go. Period.
Tony: What?!
Strick: You knew, you walked me into that situation, and you’re going to pay for it. I’m done with you and your constant fucking around.
Tony: Wait just a second, Strick. I don’t even know what I’m being accused of?
Strick: Shyla Clemmens. The counselor. She was a goddamn dominatrix all along? What, was this the coup de grâce?
Tony: What?! Oh man. I bet she looked sexy. Did you get some? I mean, no. That’s terrible. I had no idea!
Strick: You knew. You’re dumb, but too damn smart to have not known.
Tony: I’m serious, I didn’t know. I have a friend, who will remain nameless who said this chick, calling herself Mistress Emerson, was the best. Real good at what she did. Gave me her card. She was working Baton Rouge and so I thought ‘what the hell’? You know?
Strick: You knew. Just spit it out. I’ll kill you quick and painless if you just spit it out.
Tony: I’m not lying, Strick. I had no idea she...just a second.
Tony’s muffled laughter is audible for a moment.
Strick: Yuck it up, motherfucker.
Tony: Ok, sorry. I was watching a fat lady on a scooter and it tipped over. I’m a terrible person.
Strick: So?
Tony: Ok, ok. Look. Honest truth? The visit was meant for me. I thought it would be fun and usually when I’m around a really dominating lady, I get those diamond erections. It’s my thing. I mean, I don’t like to be embarrassed, but I like a woman who knows what she wants. Neither here nor there. Thing is, I met Kassandrah and I’m kind of in love right now, so I called the mistress and set it up for you two to meet. I thought it would be good for you to have some of the control taken away. I just want to help you. When are you going to understand that?
Strick: You’re helping me breathe by pushing my head under water. I really liked her, you know that? Now that’s all fucking gone.
Tony: What? You liked her? Your counselor? That...wow. That’s like, Lifetime movie stuff.
Strick: You making light right now, motherfucker?
Tony: No! I mean it’s great. Like a RomCom. I’m excited for you and the naughty counselor. I mean that’s even turning me on right now.
Strick: What the fuck did you just say to me?
Tony: Look, what do you want me to say? I didn’t know it was her. It’s hot that it’s her. You should take a chance and ask her out on a date. I mean, what’s the big deal?
Strick: If only it were that simple, Tony.
Tony: Let it be that simple! Just go with it. Don’t let things get in the way. This is my advice to you as your Agent.
Strick: I fired you.
Tony: You can’t fire me. We have a contract.
Strick: Fuck you.
Tony: Oh come on Strick! Why can’t we just be friends? We were so good together.
Strick: That was never the case.
Tony: God! It was! We were a team, well, we still are, but we can be again! Like high fives and shit.
Strick: You’re living in a fucking dream world.
Tony: Strick, I’m serious. Our contract is binding. I’ll see you at Wicked.
Strick: I’ll be looking for you, motherfucker.
Call ended.