Home For The Holidays

Knock, knock, knock echoed throughout the home, the sound bouncing off the walls causing it to perhaps sound louder than it actually was. Stood outside dressed in blue jeans and a blue Florida Gators hoodie was the young Alex Cross. His face was hid behind several large boxes that he held in his hands forcing the knock to come from the size thirteen boots he chose to wore that day. Kicking a door always sounded better than a hand any day, at least he thought so.

Somewhere in the house a thirteen year old boy's head shot up. A mumbled curse barely left his mouth before he hit the floor running. Downstairs Munin was wiping her hands off on a towel. Her long black hair pinned up into a messy bun, and a dusting of flour on her nose. She was far from her usual look of sophistication in her torn up jeans and goofy oversized reindeer sweater.

Munin: Hold on!

She tucked the cloth into the pocket, before she answered the door with a smile.

Munin: Can I-Alex?

Her smile quickly turned into a look of surprised confusion.

Munin: What are you doing here?

Alex peaked around the boxes that almost hid his face.

Alex: Um, Travis called me the other day and invited me to come down for Christmas. I assumed he had cleared it with you. I can leave if I'm imposing.

He smiled as he shrugged his shoulders.

Alex: I never come to town without an escape plan.

The sound of footsteps thundering down the stairs can be heard loud and clear, and in no time Travis was at the door. He was barely out of breath,and already running a hand through his messy brown hair. His mouth twisted into a sheepish grin.

Travis: Hey Alex. Mom, funny thing I forgot to mention that I invited Alex to spend Christmas with us. It's not a big deal though right? I mean we have two guest rooms, and you guys are on speaking terms again...

He trailed off as Munin gave him a look that said that she wasn't buying into his boyish charm. Travis's face fell at the look and it caused something to twist inside Munin's chest...She gave Alex a sideways glance, and discovered an equally crestfallen look on his face.

Oh what the hell, it was almost Christmas.

Munin: Come inside Alex, you can pick one of the guest bedrooms.

Both males looked at Munin with fearful hope and surprise.

Alex: Are you sure Nin? I mean I can book an early flight and head back to Atlanta tomorrow and we can pretend this never happened.

He paused for a moment as he took in the woman that stood in front of him. Seeing her like this was like a punch in the heart, just looking at her made him ache.

Alex: It's really nice to see you though Nin.

Inside Munin was panicking at the look in Alex's eyes. This was a bad idea, every fiber told her that this was a bad idea. She should keep Alex Cross as far away from her as possible. He already got under skin online, was there really a need to see how bad it would be in person. One look at both males hesitantly hopeful faces said it was.

Munin: Thanks, and yes I am sure. You came all this way and it's almost Christmas...

She stepped out of the way so he could bring his bags in.

Alex: Thanks Nin. Merry Christmas.

He slid past her before handing off a couple of the smaller boxes to Travis.

Alex: Go slide those under the tree and no looking to see what's inside!

He stopped in the doorway and handed her one of the smaller boxes.

Alex: You might want to open this in private Nin. I know how twisted your humor can be sometimes and I wouldn't want to scare little Travis.

He winked before stepping fully inside and heading towards the kitchen.

Alex: It smells awesome in here! I can't tell you the last time I had anything that didn't come out of a box or a drive thru window.

Munin gave the box a wary look, her lips finally surrendering to an amused smile.

Munin: Well, Travis just happened to request your favorite meal tonight. Chicken strips with spicy mustard sauce, mozzarella sticks, salad, and stuffed potatoes. Now isn't it a coincidence that he asked me to make extra because he is SO hungry?

Alex smirked at the young teens forethought, and couldn't hold back his laugh. He held the door open for her as he entered the kitchen, which forced her to brush past him as she entered.

Alex: Knew I liked that kid for some reason. Do I smell your wonton soup too?

Munin nodded her head with a small smile, and did her best to ignore their sudden closeness. With as much nonchalance as possible she set her gift out of the way next to her iPod dock. This left Alex to look around the large pub style kitchen, and silently rejoice that she hadn't changed anything. This had always been one of his favorite rooms in the house.

Munin: I see your nose is as good as ever. Yes, I made wonton soup and spring rolls for myself. It's not one of my cheat days, and I plan on having dessert. Besides it's cold enough to be a soup night.

Alex smiled as he watched as she slowly relaxed. He doubted that she even realized she was, but he was grateful for it none the less. He left her to get lost in her cooking routine for a moment. Content to lean against the counter, and watch her pull out everything she needed for the salad.

Alex: Anything I can help with?

Munin was proud of herself for not acting foolishly surprised at the sound of his voice. Instead she shot him a pleasant smile over her shoulder.

Munin: You know I never turn down free labor...Could you make the salad?

Alex pulled off his hoodie at the request without notice. His smile was innocent enough as he hung it on a nearby wall hook, but Munin just knew better than to trust it.

Alex: Yes ma'am.

After washing his hands he began his work. He was pleasantly aware of Munin moving across from him. She appeared to be working on desert, but he didn't dare to take his eyes off the sharp blade long enough to see what it was.

Alex: Anything else after I finish this?

Munin shook her head in answer, and then remembered he likely wasn't even looking at her.

Munin: No just put your bags into a guest room when you're done.

Dusting off her hands with a happy sigh she opened the preheated oven, and slid in a tray full of cookies. They continued to work in silence for the next the next few minutes. Munin was content to have the time for her own thoughts while she pinched the pie crust. Alex was just content to let the warmth of the house seep into his bones. There was no place like home, and for the first time in a long time he was here. He finished up the last of the produce, and scooped the last of it into a salad bowl. Once that was done he cleaned off the knife he was using before sliding it back in its place. At this point Travis peeked his head through the door with exaggerated caution.

Travis: Hey look you guys haven't killed each other. That's progress…

Leave it to the teenager to point out the elevator. Munin rolled her eyes, but otherwise ignored the comment. Alex's conspiratorial wink at the teen was unnoticed, and both males were thankful for that. The older of the two knew better than to push their luck though.

Alex: So Travis what has you going nuts over Fallout? Is it really worth 20 Tweets the first day you started playing it.

The look the young teen gave was one of jaw dropping disbelief.

Travis: Dude...are you serious? Come on you must be educated, it will drastically improve your quality of gaming life.

Alex: I'm sure it will. I'll follow you up in a second, just give me a moment with your mom.

He barely finished his sentence before the sound of feet thundering up the stairs could be heard.

Alex: You wouldn’t believe how much I've missed that…

Trailing off he watched Munin slide her pie into the oven. His smile was heavy with unexpressed emotion.

Alex: Thanks again for this Nin, I promise I'll be on my best behavior.

He slipped out of the room and grabbed the bags he left in the hallway and headed towards one of the spare bedrooms. Once he was out of the room Munin leaned against the counter with a sigh.

Munin: Yeah that's what worries me…

After a moment of listening to Alex make his way up the stairs, Munin turned on the holiday music (Nightmare Revisited) and rolled up her sleeves. She still had cookies to decorate after all...

After checking out Fallout Alex changed from his traveling clothes and into a pair of blue jeans and a plain black polo before he headed down the stairs and back into the kitchen. He found Munin still busy piping delicate icing onto various types of cookies.

Alex grabbed one of the smaller gifts he had brought in and places it on the island behind her.

Alex: I know this is uncomfortable, me being here and all. But I wanted to give you something from the heart to show my appreciation.

He grabbed a gift and handed it to Munin. She took the present with only a moment's hesitation, and unwrapped it with a quick methodical hand.
As the paper came apart it revealed a simple wooden polished picture frame. Munin let the paper fall away with a small subconscious smile. It was the picture of them with Travis last Christmas.

Munin: I remember this... We took it after you got back from driving around for an hour.

She gave a small chuckle and traced one finger over the glass.

Munin: All because we were out of eggnog, and Travis needed batteries.

Alex nodded his head and concentrated on not showing how happy he was. She didn't smash the picture against the wall. He was thankful for small victories, and the memory her words evoked.

Alex: I drove all over town trying to find that stuff only to find it in some shit hole on the outskirts of town.

He paused for a moment, almost able to hear Travis's excited voice when he received the much needed batteries.

Alex: The smile on his face and yours made it all worth it. Honestly I'd do it all again tomorrow without batting an eye.

The smile slowly left his face, as he returned to the present.

Alex: Who knew I'd piss it all away a few months later by lying and being a total asshole for no reason. Nin I don't deserve to spend Christmas with you and Travis. The two of you deserve so much better than me, especially after all the pain I've caused you both. Maybe this was a bad idea.

He didn't want to leave. This is where he wanted to be, he never wanted to leave her side again or wave good bye to Travis. This felt like home to him, which was something he longed for considering he never really had one. Munin's smile slipped from her own face at his words. She carefully set the picture on the counter. Her breath hitched in her throat, and for a moment she was speechless. It was almost funny how the sound of the Christmas music seemed so far away now.

Munin: I am beginning to think that this might not be a horrible idea after all. Did you see how happy Travis was to see you? I'm not sure how you managed to rebuild that bridge, but I can say I was happy to see it. He was so angry with you for so long that I was starting to think that he would never forgive you.

Her look was knowing as she leaned against the counter.

Munin: I think we both know how unhealthy it is for a teenager to harbor too much anger.

Alex rubbed the back of his neck as he shrugged.

Alex: It doesn't help for an adult to harbor too much anger either. Trust me, I know from experience.

He reached out and grabbed both of Munin's hands and held them in his, rubbing the backs of her hands with his thumbs.

Alex: I want to repair what we had. I know I have a long way to go before you'll ever trust me again. Honestly I don't deserve you to ever trust me again but being with you, being in this house, seeing Travis smile makes me want to be the old Alex. The Alex you fell in love with all those years ago. It's an uphill battle for me but it's one I'm willing to take head on.

He cleared his throat.

Alex: Being with you and Travis this Christmas is all I could ever want. So thank you Nin.

It was impossible not to feel the sting of tears at those words. They were words that she would have done almost anything to hear six months ago. Now that she had them it felt like heaven and hell all wrapped up with a nice red bow. She cleared her throat, and blinked her eyes rapidly for a moment she wasn't about to play the simpering foolish female.

Munin: Like you said that's a long road to take, but...I'm willing to let you take it. I'm happy to have with us for Christmas Alex…

Alex: Having the opportunity is all I want Nin. Thank you.

He felt something catch in his throat causing him to turn away for a moment to clear his throat once more.

Alex: So where were we? I mean, is their something else I can help you with? It smells heavenly in here.

Munin pretended to wipe something off her goofy reindeer sweater.

Munin: There isn't much else left to do except pull things out of the oven…

Alex stepped between Munin and the oven grabbing a nearby apron off a hook.

Alex: Let me get everything out and put on the table. You go pour yourself a glass of wine and have a seat. It's the least I can do.

For a moment she was going to argue, but honestly why should she? Was she going to argue over every stupid thing, just so she could keep her distance? No, she had agreed to try so...baby steps.

Munin: Okay...thank you.

With a small half smile she made her way to the wine cabinet, and pulled out a Merlot and two glasses. She too her time pouring the glasses, after she had slid onto one of the bars stools.

Munin: Well here's to new beginnings...

Alex quickly made his way around the kitchen pulling things out of the oven and placing them into the nice dishes that were set out. It didn't take long to have everything out of the hot containers and into fresh ones to be placed on the table. With a smile Alex grabbed the nearby glass and held it up.

Alex: To new beginnings and old friends.

He took a sip of the wine before setting the glass down.

Alex: Time to set the table.

Munin: I can get that, if you get Travis.

Alex took off the apron and tossed it on the nearby hook.

Alex: Travis! Foods up buddy!

Munin gave an amused scoff at his methods.

Munin: Well that's one way to do it.

She turned down the Christmas music, and began to transfer the food to the table.

Alex: I'm simple, you know that.

Munin: Alex Cross you are many things, but simple is not one of them.

The two heard footsteps banging on the stairs as they headed towards the kitchen.

Alex: Maybe that was always the problem. I was always so simple while you are very complex. Then again maybe I'm not simple but just simple minded?

He smirked towards Nin as he watched her finish up in the kitchen. Setting the pie on the cooling rack, she shot him an annoyed glance.

Munin: You are not simple in anyway, but it's your lie so tell it as you like.

Travis paused in the door way with a whistle.

Travis: Am I interrupting something, because please just say the word if I am. I can just take all the food, and go back to my room to play Fallout.

Alex couldn't help but laugh as he leaned against the wall still looking at Munin.

Alex: I do miss that look. The look that sees right through my bullshit no matter how thick I might lay it on. And yet, it's that same look that says no matter what bullshit I throw your way you still love me. You'll deny it but you know it to be true.

He grabbed a nearby carrot and popped it in his mouth. As soon as the carrot hit his lips he looked back towards them.

Alex: Now we're good buddy go grab a seat we'll be their in a minute. Are these organic? Since when?

Alex looked back at Travis with a smile.

Travis: Uh huh, you enjoy those carrots big boy I grew them.

There were moments that she thanked God for the timely intervention of teenage boys. Chuckling to herself she set the last of the boys meal on the table, and then turned to fixing her own food. Alex shrugged as he grabbed another carrot.

Alex: You grow'em I'll eat'em.

Travis settled down into his seat, and nearly drooled at the sight of the food.

Travis: Its okay if you want to say these are the best tasting vegetables ever.

Alex took a seat next to Travis and elbowed him in the ribs.

Alex: I'd hate for your head to get too big.

Travis and Alex bantered back and forth throughout dinner time. After wards the all took part in cleaning the kitchen.

Munin: Trav if you want to go watch Elf tonight I will finish this. Besides I need to get ready for bed...

Alex: Nin that was amazing! You really out did yourself. I can't remember the last time I ate something that good. Truthfully it was probably the last time you cooked for me.

Alex laughed to himself as he hand dried a dish.

Alex: I've had to take up cooking and it's ugly! I wouldn't even call it food it's so bad.

She actually giggled at the thought of his cooking. Alex looked over at Travis.

Alex: I'll help your mom finish up in here. Go enjoy the movie.

Travis saluted as he walked backwards through the kitchen door.

Munin: Thank you Alex...

Alex finished drying a dish and put it away.

Alex: My pleasure Nin.

They cleaned the rest of the kitchen in surprisingly comfortable silence, and in no time at all Munin had headed upstairs to get ready for bed. Meanwhile Alex made his way into the entertainment room to finish watching Elf with Travis. Alex looked over at Travis.

Alex: Thanks againfor the invite. It means a lot to spend Christmas with the two of you.

Travis tore his eyes from the screen long enough you give the older man a serious look.

Travis: Hey don't think I'm not still pissed. I am but I also know that people make mistakes. In the last few months, despite all the times you've screwed up, I can see that you realized yours. Your trying to make things right...I can respect that.

His eyes wandered back to the T.V. while a smile tugged to the corners of his mouth.

Travis: Besides that we both still care about you...Dare I say even love you?

Alex was taken aback by the words. Here sat a young man who had every right to hate his guts but instead was willing to forgive him and even perhaps love him in spite of his mistakes. The words hit Alex like a ton of bricks making to hard for him to even know how to respond.

Alex: Thanks Travis that means a lot. You and your mom mean the world to me and I will do everything I can to make things right between us. Thanks for understanding and giving me a chance to do right by you both.

The movie played on with Santa's sled finally taking off, and Buddy the Elf was getting his happy ever after. Travis looked at Alex as the credits came on. The sound of someone coming down the stairs could just be heard over the music.

Travis: Just don't screw up.

Alex: I won't.

Munin entered the room shamelessly decked out in Grinch pajamas with matching house slippers. Her long black hair was carelessly pinned up in another messy bun.

Munin: Okay guys it's time for Scrooged, you know one of the best Christmas comedies ever made.

Travis's heartfelt groan expressed that he begged to differ with that assessment.

Travis: You two can watch that, I'm going to go to bed. Night Alex.

He jumped off the couch, and gave Munin a kiss on the cheek as he walked past her.

Travis: I love you mom.

Munin: I love you too.

Alex: Night Travis. See you in the morning unless your mom kills me in my sleep to fulfill her master plan of taking over the World.

Alex looked over at Munin with a shit eating grin.

Alex: Jokes on you Nin, I don't sleep.

Laughter could be heard from the entrance way, as Travis made his way upstairs. Munin merely shook her head as she turned on one of her favorite Christmas Movie. Alex watched as Travis disappeared up the stairs. With the young man gone Alex turned his attention back to the television as the movie began.

Alex: Theirs so much I want to tell you right now Nin but I can't. Not because you don't deserve to know but because you wouldn't believe me if I told you. The problem is I don't want to start things off with a lie so I don't know what do to.

Munin leaned back onto the couch with a sigh.

Munin: If you can't or won't lie then all you have left is the truth.

Alex sighed as he rubbed on the back of his neck once more, a sure sign he was uncomfortable. He reached into his right pocket but left his hand there.

Alex: Do you remember where we first met Nin?

Munin: The airport...

Alex: Ya on the way over seas for the summer heat tour. The second I locked eyes on you in that airport and you made fun of me for my non descriptive luggage I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. Then when you left me my whole world came crashing down around me. I turned to alcohol and that became who I was.

He paused for a minute as he turned to look at her.

Alex: When you came back to me I swore I'd never let you go again. I fought so hard to keep that promise not because it was difficult but because I wanted it so badly. Losing you was like losing who I was and I couldn't take the pain again.

He pulled his hand out of his pocket and revealed a small jewelry box. He kept it closed as he showed it to her.

Alex: I bought this after our first date because I knew that you were who I was meant to spend the rest of my life with. I had no doubt in my mind whatsoever. I even knew where I would propose to you.

Alex sat the ring on the table.

Alex: As time got closer I got more and more nervous. I didn't want to fuck up and make you regret marrying me. So I turned back to drinking thinking maybe if I drank it would ease my nerves and I could make it through. Alcohol didn't help me though it made things worse. It didn't take the edge off and make it easier it made things harder and it made me into a monster, a monster that scared even me. I pushed you away because I tried to hold on to you to firmly.

Alex ran his fingers through his hair.

Alex: Now? I drink to numb the pain. The pain of losing you and the fear that I've lost the best thing that ever happened to me. You and Travis meant the world to me and now I have to drink just to make it through the day. It's become who I am because I can't face who I truly am anymore.

The expression on her face was one of utter shock.

Munin: Why didn't you just talk to me?

Alex: And tell you what? Hey Nin I want to spend the rest of my life with you and it scares the living shit out of me? I couldn't find the right Hallmark card to express that feeling.

The look she gave him said quite clearly that he was a dumb ass.

Munin: Yes actually you could have just said that, and you could have trusted me...

Alex: Looking back I know I should have. Things would have been so much easier had I done just that. But I fucked up. I did the one thing I was great at and that's fuck things up. All my life that's what I was good at, fucking things up. It's why I was never in a relationship longer than a couple of weeks because I'm a fuck up. Us lasting as long as we did and getting as serious as we did scared me so badly I didn't know how to react.

He picked up the box and slid it back into his pocket.

Alex: I'm sorry Nin. I wish I had just talked to you instead of doing all the things I did. The lying, the fighting, the hiding. It was like I was living a double life and couldn't figure out which one was the real me. I know now though but I don't know if it even matters anymore who the real me is.

Munin: And you tried to say you aren't complicated. Of course who you are matters. All of this...

She made an all encompassing hand gesture.

Munin: Matters. I can't promise you anything Alex a lot of things have happened sense that night we broke up. We aren't exactly the same people we were then, but...

A hesitant smile appeared on her soft lips.

Munin: You are taking responsibility for your past actions, and that is very honorable. It makes me think that I would like to get to know who you are now...

Alex leaned back into the soft couch.

Alex: I hope who I am now doesn't scare you near as much as it scares me some times.

Munin: Alex I never left you because I was scared of you, and you know that. I have plenty of darkness and skeletons in my own past, and I was always shocked that it never scared you away. Who knows maybe you will discover that the person I am now isn't someone that you want to be with...

Alex reached over and took both of Munins tiny hands into his.

Alex: I can't think of a single thing that you could say or do that would not make me want to be apart of your life. This right here is what I want. You, me and Travis in this house together. That's all I want. I'd quit wrestling tomorrow if it meant I could be with you forever.

Munin smiled despite the stinging of held back tears in her eyes.

Munin: I don't want you to quit wrestling...How about we do it then? Get to know each other I mean.

Alex smiled.

Alex: I'd like that a lot.

She looked away and slightly fidgeted.

Munin: I'm not going to as you to be celibate during this time. It doesn't seem like it would be fair too, but I will ask that you stay away from Amanda.

Alex looked into Munin's nervous eyes and smiled.

Alex: Amanda is a non issue. I went to Maine to spend time with her and her family as just friends but she wanted more than I was willing to give. I told her we were only friends and that I couldn't be more than that because I stilled loved you.

As for those other women they were my way of dealing with the pain of not having you in my arms at night. You're the only woman I need in life and I wouldn't risk pushing you away because of some ring rat just because I wanted a quick lay to take off some stress.

Alex laughed to himself.

Alex: Hell if I need to take that much of an edge off I'll just do it myself. I'm not too good for that.

Munin's smile relaxed and grew on her lips.

Munin: OK, then lets start getting to know each other again. How does that song go? There is no better time than the holidays.

Alex: Sounds about right. I was never good with name those lyrics.

Munin's laughter brightened the room.

Alex: God I missed that sound.

Blushing Munin grabbed her nearby blanket and snuggled down to watch Scrooged. As she watched though her suddenly sleepy began to close. Alex looked over and smiled. He loved watching her sleep. He made sure she was comfortable before standing up and switching off the tv and the lights in the room. It was going to be a nice little break from reality. He knew he had to play his cards right, he needed his family back.